Diary of an Office Girl: Not a Villain (Pt 4.)

Okay, back home after a day of traveling. Which was mostly spent trying to pretend I wasn’t terrified that, at any moment I was about to be carted off to some dark little prison cell where I’d eat only bread and water and never be allowed out, be able to see my family or my cats ever again…

 …and where there would almost certainly be a significant lack of effective frizz control conditioner. (Okay I’m seeing spots I should calm down.)

So where was I?

Oh right! Crawling through destruction, chaos and almost certain death! I remember now.

I successfully navigated the facility and found my way to the data storage room although I would have admittedly found the place a lot faster if I hadn’t been crawling on the ground with my eyes closed (long after the sound of fighting had faded behind me) hoping not to get shot.

Once in the room it was simply a matter of locating the correct hard drive, using the (very long) identification number that Katie and Stanley had been discussing during our mission briefing. (Gasp, shock I was paying attention) I managed to remember the number (I may have made up a little song to help with that) and locate the drive.

I have to say it was very difficult to remove the hard drive, I pulled and pulled and it wouldn’t budge. I ended up yanking the thing out to the sound of snapping and creaking before I realised that there had been some form of “push here before pulling” mechanism, which would have made the whole process easier. (Oops)

Standing there with the hard drive in my hand a realisation came over me…

I hadn’t really planned past this point, (to be fair who’d have thought I would survive this far?) what should I do now? Hide it? Take it? What on earth would I do with it? (The idea of creating my own army of super powered cats may have occurred to me for a fleeting moment but I deemed it unwise.) These thoughts were racing through my mind on top of my fears about not only what the bad guys would do with this information but also what the good guys would do.

Stop my colleagues from getting the data. That was the deal. But… but nothing had been said about letting the villains keep a hold of it, that point hadn’t even been discussed.

So I made a decision.

I dropped the drive on the floor, pointed the gun at it, shielded my eyes and fired repeatedly at it…

And I missed…     Every. Single. Shot.

That’s when I started jumping up and down on top of it. Not the most elegant solution I grant you but it worked! After about the 5^th jump I heard a crunch and looked down. It seemed pretty destroyed.

Suddenly there was the noise of shots and shouting outside the door, getting closer and closer and is seemed to be approaching fast. I moved towards the door to make my “tactical retreat” when the door burst open and Daniel walked in, followed by two decidedly unfriendly looking gentlemen. I backed into the room, out of the way of them as they moved deeper inside. Suddenly they stopped and Daniel spotted the remains of the hard drive, a crumpled mess on the floor. He immediately gestured to the men who ran out of the room in opposite directions as he bent down to pick it up and examine it.

I was against a stack of servers, trying not to move or breathe as he turned the device over in his hands slowly and then very abruptly and angrily her hurled it across the room hard. (I have never actually seen that level of rage on his face before, shudder)

It was such a violent and unexpected act I got a fright and I’m not sure if I gasped or I moved or something but he became very still for a moment before slowly turning in my direction and I felt my heart beat so hard I was sure he could hear it on it’s own. 

To Be Continued…

Diary of an Office Girl: Not a Villain. (Pt 3.)

I didn’t sleep well at all last night.

Usually I sleep great in hotels, with the comfy bed and the knowledge I wont have to tidy up (no matter how messy I am) and of course the full English breakfast that awaits me in the morning, that I didn’t have to cook. (Who am I kidding? I never cook.)

But you see I don’t usually have terrible nightmares where I could be arrested at any moment for sabotaging my own agency in a mission to acquire the formula for a serum that would allow said agency to create an army of super powered spies. (And then wake up to find it wasn’t a nightmare.)

So…

I grabbed the “supplies” that The Prick had provided me with (Supplies = Gun and Goggles) from their hiding place in a conveniently located (and damp) alley, before heading back to the facility. Hoping to get in and out, quickly and efficiently. (Don’t laugh at that!!!)

Oooh pop quiz!

What does a shopping centre and a facility housing top secret files belonging to an evil criminal organisation have in common?

In both of these places I have gotten lost, consulted a wall map and then spent a half hour studying it before realising I’ve drifted of while staring at the “you are here” dot.

I managed to find my way to the elevators. (Note: I find myself wanting to add the prefix “evil” to everything I encountered.) I managed to find my way to the evil elevators and found myself caught up in trying not to dance to the evil elevator music. (Before remembering I was invisible and could therefore flail to my hearts content.)

Oh and then some evil people got on with me (Not doing the prefix thing, they actually were evil) and one of them was The Prick. He was talking to his boss on the phone (I bet her voice sounded nice… stop it Lee!) and I am absolutely sure he looked straight at me on several occasions!

I am not paranoid I’m serious it was as if he knew I was there.

Anyway, the elevator “binged” and the doors opened and the sight before me was well, “pretty mad” would be a way to describe it if I lacked all sense of proportion. It was a flurry of violence and superpowers and gunfire and shouting and was altogether quite a to do.

At this point I was thinking perhaps I would stay in the elevator, as the prospect of entering the scenario playing out before me seemed a monumentally stupid idea.

Then I had this thought…

I am trapped in a metal box with a telekinetic, evil prick who may or may not know I am here and has a vested interest in “encouraging” me to get out of the elevator and do what the f*$@ I was told to do…

… it had also occurred to me that the elevator was probably about to become a part of the on going, ahem, festivities and that would not end well for me. (Invisible or not)

So I decided to enter the fray and by that I mean crawl along the ground, hugging the wall with my eyes closed, weeping and hoping not to bump into anyone.

Good plan eh?

To Be Continued…