Need to find a job that doesn’t put my life in danger quite so frequently.
I was still glowing with pride this morning when Katie, Michael and George arrived back here with the spoils of a successful mission; the canister of what we believed might be a chemical weapon. (We now know that it isn’t.) Stanley was eager to have a look before it got carted off… a little too eager.
He had barely got near it before we heard a small hissing noise, Stanley muttered “Oops!” at which point a horrifyingly familiar screeching alarm and red lights flashing, every monitor in the vicinity reading “unidentified contaminant”. (Otherwise known as the “you’ve all been poisoned and are probably going to die” alarm.)
Obviously I am writing this therefore I’m alive. (Unless I’m literally ghost writing my blog, hehe geddit.)
The usual stuff: Masks, humiliating shower, medical examination involving an unsettling amount of probing, etc. (I shouldn’t have a life where the words “The usual stuff” apply here.)
After a thorough (putting it mildly) testing by our medical team, (who were all wearing hazmat suits creating a feeling of calm and security, oh no wait I meant to say a feeling of “UNCLEAN!!”) we were given the all clear. None of us were either radioactive, sick, nor were any of us overly susceptible to any kind of mind control (so scratch that theory.)
After looking at the stuff released from the canister the team found that it seemed harmless (although they couldn’t tell you what it was or what it was supposed to do) they think that maybe it needs to be combined with a second element or have some sort of process done to it in order for it to, you know, work, kill, zombify etc.
They said they’d check up on us over the weekend to make sure we’re okay, which is a little reassuring (Crossing fingers I don’t wake up with an ear on my arm or have future babies with tails.)
So that was my day, roll on the weekend (just hope alcohol isn’t the second element needed to turn me into plague bringer.)