Monday, 18 October 2010

First full day of spinster-hood.

Today was a pretty normal day at work. Although normal is relative I guess. How many people have to unpack and barcode scan unused spy gadgetry from the previous missions kit bag? Sometimes it feels like I work at the weirdest supermarket ever.

Tranquiliser Gun… Beep.
Grappling Hook…Beep.
C-4…Beep.
Detonator… no beep… no beep… still no beep (scan extra slowly) … Beep.

I should probably tell you about my office. Well it’s all very cool and shiny and also underground, so there’s a significant lack of natural light (which is my excuse for pasty skin.) The people I work with are all very good at what they do and lead vastly more interesting lives than me.

There’s my boss Director Moore, he’s the intimidating used to be a spy and could still kick your ass kinda guy. He never uses anyone’s first names and always elongates the Miss or Mister part of your name. Good work Miissss Sarah, (is something I have never heard him say.)

Then there’s Michael, (sigh) who’s charming, handsome, dedicated and handsome (and no I didn’t say handsome twice by mistake, he’s just that handsome.) He’s our top spy along with his partner Katie. They are clearly in love with each other (they think they’re subtle) but Michael won’t let it go anywhere cause they work together. Their romance is beautiful and melancholy, (okay I may be a little too invested but it’s better than a soap opera, really.) Katie’s pretty cool; intimidating and gorgeous but cool and always sticks up for me.

Our other top spy is William, he’s a bit older than Michael and Katie but he has a cool James Bond, old school vibe about him. I don’t really interact with him much.

Oh and of course there’s Stanley, who is the closest thing I have to a friend at work. He isn’t a spy either, he’s the tech guy and he’s a sweetie. (A bit odd but then look who’s talking.) I get super jealous cause he gets to go on missions and do computery stuff, but it’s fine cause he always tells me everything when he gets back (plus he always brings me a cheesy magnet back from wherever they went, I have an impressive collection.)

That’s pretty much the people I see most at work, we all work pretty close to each other and it’s a small team. There are other people obviously but I don’t tend to get around the office to chat or anything.

Anyway am off to bed, as soon as I change my bed sheets (they smell like my ex and it’s making me sad.)

I am not a spy.


I am not a spy.

But I do work for a secret government agency, which conducts spy-like activities and saves the world on a regular basis...

Having said that would you believe me if I said my life was surprisingly dull. All I do is data entry and make coffee.

Also, I’m single

Last night I was living happily with long term boyfriend, today I’m a spinster who lives alone with her two cats, and since I have no one to talk to right now (talking to my cats would take me down a disturbing path I am only narrowly avoiding as it is) this is really my only other option.

As I was saying...  I’m single now; we just broke up last night.

Why?

Because he’s a cheating scumbag whose private area is going to rot painfully and slowly before hopefully falling off while in line at the post office...

I miss him.

I'm going to work.