About a... telekinetic, evil, hitman.

List of things I do not enjoy:

• Being stood up by boyfriend... again!
• Being kept up all night by my neighbours child crying... for hours!
• Weekly guilt trip phone call from parents. 
• People at work whispering behind my back all the time
• Talking about the Prick for an extended period of time.

All five in one day... fantastic.

It wasn't just me. Everyone in the offices who's ever had any interactions with Daniel had to go "upstairs" (said with inflection that suggests sarcastic fear) and undergo an "intensive debrief"

My idea of a perfect day at work. A bureaucrat asking me questions for hours, about every exchange I've ever had with Daniel. (Well omitting the occasions that would incriminate me of any international crimes) 

The level of their intrest in how many time's he'd saved/failed to kill me, was unsettling. It's not good for my emotional stability when I have to remind myself he's the bad guy! (Especially when most of the stories I can't tell them involve him saving/failing to kill me.)

Guerra was having a conniption all day about what these interviews meant and why was she "being kept out of the loop?" although, Moore was surprisingly calm. Maybe he knows what's happening? Maybe he's just so stony faced and repressed that he doesn't react to anything, except to smile knowingly, or scowl... knowingly. 

The strange thing is... my interview wasn't even the longest. Katie's was over half the day, and Michael wasn't that far behind. 

I suppose I never paid much attention to events I'm not directly present for.

Healing Hands and Good Hair.

Finally something fun to do, I've been going crazy with nothing to do but file and wonder why someone would sabotage one of the wheels on my chair. (Either that or the chair itself is plotting against me, which in this office isn't out of the question.)

One of the people we rescued, (with the help of persons who may closely resemble male genitalia) has come to work for the agency. As one of the medical personel.

Well... they do have healing powers so makes sense... also she's a doctor. I'm honestly not sure which one of those was the deciding factor when giving the assignment... I mean our non lethal weapons supervisor has a degree in art history so there's really no telling.

Healing powers!!

That sounds fantastic, no more injuries, deaths and... well there isn't a third thing. Those are really the only things, injury and death.

It's not as fantastic as it sounds. As with most powers (it seems) it takes a lot out of a person to use them and it seems even worse for her. Dr Ferguson (who incidentally, doesn't like to be called Dr Fergie) can heal someone, but it's not pretty. (And I mean NOT pretty, as if I haven't had enough nightmares this month... recurring... disturbingly real nightmares)

So I'm quite sure if she'll be using said power any time soon, (my recently eaten lunch did not appreciate the visual aids at this afternoons briefing) it'll be only in special circumstances, and perhaps only partial healing... so both parties have a chance of surviving the injuries.

I sort of don't like her, but only because she has red hair... not ginger like I... used to have (now I only have ginger roots) her's is sort of purplish red. and EVERYONE LOVES IT.

But when I get on the tube apparently I'd "be cute if I didn't have the ginger disease"

Ugh!

Can I not and just say that I did?

A little honesty goes a long way...

towards getting looks of disgust from people who are supposed to be my "best friend" While I understand Michaels injury weighs on Katie, She's overwhelmed with feelings of guilt, fear, anger, love... (blah, blah, blah, blah, blah)

I don't see that this is such a big problem, it's just a bloody card. (a comically oversized card, but just a card nonetheless) So I didn't sign it.

It's not like he'd even notice, or care if I signed it.

Which apparently is all I need to say to make Katie storm off in a huff and stop talking to me. (If only I'd known the secret sooner.)

Not Better, not better at all.

Decided to do what I usually do when I...

well when I don't know what to do... (That didn't even sound better in my head.)

... which happens an awful lot... but this time it's mostly just the Alex problem I want advice on.

So what do I do?

Go talk to Stanley.

Which I'm sure would have been comforting and he would have known exactly how to deal with the situation, and have all the answers to all my questions... ever.

It would have been comforting, I'm sure of it... unfortunately I didn't get a chance to be comforted, only further confused.

Upset.

Suspicious.

I arrived early at work to find Stanley in Director Moore's office, okay I didn't find him, Rei told me he was in there. I couldn't actually see him in there because the blinds were closed, (which is never a good sign.)

They were in there for a long time and when they got out Stanley seemed really... strange. I tried making (awkward) small talk, apologising for being angry at him... it was going well, uncomfortable, but well.

Until I asked him what his meeting with Moore was about, then he got skittish and made a flimsy excuse to leave.

I'm not entirely proud of my reaction to this, however in the grand scheme of things I'm glad I did it.

Granted, I could get fired, go to jail, (the usual assortment of bad consequences taken as read) for breaking into Moore's office after he left to use the bathroom, using my invisibility to do so (it's been a while) and definitely for rummaging around on his desk looking for what made Stanley so skittish...

What I found, well, what I found was nothing more alarming than my own agency file... marked "under observation"

So now I feel much, much better.

Lessons in Deception Pt 2

Not so long ago, I didn't feel comfortable lying. It worried me, how good I'd started to get at it.

Now I don't mind it so much.

When my boyfriend can't explain where he keeps disappearing off to for the past week. When he's been acting suspicious (which is bad when he's a super-spy) and doesn't answer any of my questions. When he simply asks me to trust him and, seeing hesitation, asks you IF I trust him...

...and I say yes...

...he believes me.

I'm sure I did.

I'm really, quite sure I used to care.

I, at one time, sat on the edge of my seat, listening with baited breath (and a few other metaphors for anticipation) to Katie's stories of daring heroics and unrequited love. I would sympathise when she would talk about the moments when she would look into his eyes and know that she couldn't go on without him in this world. My heart would soar when she would describe how the feelings that cause her so much pain, also gave her the strength to do impossible things, just to keep him alive...

..and now?

Yawn.

Not just yawn but irritation, resentment... anger.

Am I supposed to sympathise about how all the men she wants, want her back. How everything always seems to go her way. How she's never known what it feels like to be ignored, passed by...

...invisible.

No.

Change.

Alright, I'm not kidding.

Someone has switched my chair!

Something about it just... doesn't feel right... maybe this is Stanley getting back at me for snapping at him over his (completely unacceptable) politeness towards the Prick, last week. (Everyone's gotten such an attitude problem since I came back)

At least some things never change.

Katie and Michael got into trouble on their mission (they do that a lot for "great" spies) and barely got out alive. Michael was shot in the chest during another rescue attempt, at a different facility. Katie refused to leave hime behind and dragged him back to the helicopter in a hail of bullets. It was all terribly dramatic and filled with unspoken love and repressed emotions, (very, very British.) and I should definitely bring popcorn next time I'm relegated to comms on a mission.

He's going to be alright but he won't be back in the office for a week, and no missions for weeks after that. (One less pretty face to relieve the tedium of my day)

Oh and Alex didn't come over last night, he didn't respond to my text, and today he just shrugged like it didn't matter. Well, I'm not going to text him tonight, I don't need his sexy physique, or his cute little laugh, or the dinner he usually cooks on a Thursday night... nope I have crisps and I have tea... I'm set.

I'm still hungry...

Bugger.

Stolen sugar.

You know what makes you feel completely un-spy-like and not glamorous at all??

Waiting in Boots for and hour for a pharmacist with a clip board to usher  you into a tiny oom and give you a 10 minute lecture before giving you what you came there for in the first place... and feeling like a badly behaved teenager.

So Alex came over last night, and things... happened.

I still don't know if I've completely forgiven him for whatever it was he did... but last night was a start. A very satisfying start. (Even if I was unprepared.)

Katie's behaving odd these past few days... thats, I mean more odd than I'd expected considering the confrontation we had last week, after her "private conversation" with the Prick. She's being very nice and apologised for not talking to me about it. Not sure if I trust her, or anone in this place at the moment. (They are all spies you know, it's something that gives a girl pause)

Accepted her apology (and her hug, awkward) and things have settled down some. She and Michael and heading out on a mission tomorrow, I'm at least glad we aren't hating each other before she goes. It's very unpleasant to have a co-worker die when the last conversation you had was a confrontation, or an argument about who used the last of the sugar in the break room...

...I used the last of the sugar...

... no matter as he's dead now and can't judge me for it anymore.

Saturday

Uggghhhh!

Should be used to disturbing dreams by now. It's a hazard of the job. (As is, lack of social life, paranoia and that itch in my elbow every time I pee.)

Still, I hate thinking I've woken up and then finding myself in my very own fantasy world of monsters and confusion and darkness, and strangely lots of trees (??) and worrying subconscious messages and...

...you know if Daniel insist on being alive, he could at least stay in his cell and not come to the offices and get in my head.

I'm really tired...

...also I can't get my dvd player to watch Pride and Prejudice without shorting out all the electric goods in the house when Mr Darcy climbs out of the lake. (Bugger)

Not a pushover...

I'll admit... breaking into the archive database and pulling up Katie's conversation with Daniel might have been a violation of friendship, trust, the law, national security and many other things. (Possibly a treaty with Belgium)

BUT!

I'm fed up with the strange looks I've been getting from her and if she's going to believe Daniel the prick and anything he says, she's clearly even more jealous of my new found competence and all round fantastic-ness (it's a word) than I'd originally thought.

Yes he's suspicious of what happened on the mission but he's grasping at straws, he'd do anything to get out of that cell and back to being an all round git to the world at large (as opposed to just those who happen to wander into the same room as him)

Katie would just love to have a reason to take me off active duty, but she can't talk about it yet obviously because she knows it's complete tosh and she'd be seen for the petty person that she is...

It's possible that telling her all this might have been a mistake, but I want her to know I'm not as stupid as she thinks and if she's going to try and use me to make herself look good I'm not going to sit back and take it.

It's a whole new Lee and I am NOT a pushover.

He was so vague about the whole thing anyway I know he's just trying to stir the pot. That's what he does. He's a stirrer...

... and a Prick!

Not a Hero. Pt 3.

We stepped over the bodies, littering the ground and Rei whispered to me "Did you do this?"

In front of us, Daniel, leading the way, scoffed. (Which would have annoyed me if he hadn't been oblivious to the fact I could have done it... possibly.)

I told him to hurry up. He led us through some more corridors and to a small room at the far end of the building. It was empty. Completely empty.

I cocked my gun, "Well it's certainly been lovely knowing you Daniel... and by lovely I mean horrible." and I aimed at his head. At that exact moment, he hit  something on the wall and it opened up (The wall, the entire wall opened up) to reveal something beyond. (Bugger I was looking forward to shooting him right in his smug face)

We stepped in and found ourselves in a huge room (this was not on the blueprints) all that was inside were hundreds of huge containers, big metal containers. As we walked into the room the lights started to come on, revealing how big it really was. (HUGE) Daniel muttered to himself. "Hmm wishful thinking."

I asked him what he meant and he explained (in the most condescending way possible) that these were waiting to be filled...

...with the aerosol called prometheus. (the stuff that gives people powers) Helena didn't have any more but she was working on it, from the research Eli left behind. He explained that Helena had never told him where she was going to be manufacturing the stuff. (Because she's not stupid and knows he's a double crossing Prick? He sniggered at that.) but these containers were scheduled to be moved there soon.

"I thought we were here to retrieve something!" shouted Rei, looking irritated.

Daniel turned and looked at her, as if he'd forgotten she was even there. He walked over to one of the containers and opened up a panel on the front, pulled out a long slip of something (looked like a circuit board) held it up and smiled that irritatingly wide and charming smile (not charming!! Smug, I mean't smug!) and said, "We are."

He then just walked out of the room... (What a Prick)

We followed him out and Rei caught up with him, "What is that?" he just ignored her. She asked again and one more time before he sighed and stopped.

"Do you want to discuss this here, and waste more time, probably get killed... or do you want to get back to the blonde and the fearless leader?" He sneered at her. Rei looked like she was going to rip his face off. (Go on! Do it!)

Getting back to the team and out of the building with the rescued civilians was uneventful (well still lots of shooting) except for one teeny, tiny little slip up on my part...

It's really, hardly worth mentioning...

...

It's not my fault!

It's just that he's so infuriating and smug and he always goes out of his way to... (deep breath) okay so I may have... and he probably didn't even notice, I think I covered it well. I may have gotten a touch agitated with him and his insistence on being alive, smug and near me all at the same time and when we were leaving, he was quietly mocking me out of earshot of the others, and... and...

...and when he said the word Friday...

Alright, all the lights in the building exploded... I really have to learn some self control.

Sigh.

It's completely fine, I acted surprised and I'm sure I was very convincing. It's fine... it's fine.

I'm sure it's fine.

The only thing that isn't fine is, I seem to have bloody rats. Ever since the mission I've been hearing movement and scratching in my flat when I'm alone. (Please be rats and not a monster under my bed.)

The mission was a few days ago now and thankfully this means it's been a few days since I had to look at the Prick's smug face, although poor Katie I can't say the same for her.

Yesterday she got called away into the other section of our building, because "The prisoner has requested a debrief from her" and right now Katie can't afford not to do as she's told. Although I think she'd have done it anyway just because it really upset Guerra who is still angry over being banished for the time Daniel was here and isn't happy about Katie being in the loop and her not.

Katie won't tell me what she spoke to Daniel about. She's been really witholding for the past few weeks. Perhaps she doesn't enjoy my company as much now that I'm not a gibbering idiot who does everything she says...

... she's not the only one I get that impression from.

Not a Hero. Pt 2.

So...

Gun at Daniel's feet, me being squashed by large unconscious man and Rei preoccupied with large not unconscious men.

I managed to wriggle from under the unconscious guard and I shouted "Daniel no!" (very dramatic) as I ran towards him... then skidded to a halt when he straightened up, pointed the gun directly at me. (this was familiar.)

He smiled and pulled the trigger...

...shooting the guard behind me. (I didn't think situations like that happened outside of films)

Still looking at me he moved the gun smoothly and shot once, twice, three times and three more bodies dropped around us before the gun was out of bullets. (Err, whew?) This didn't seem much of a problem for him though, since he just took another gun from another attacking guard, (elbowing him hard in the face first) pulling him close, I heard the crack as he broke the mans arm and spun him round to be shot multiple times by his fellow "henchmen" and then tossed him aside and started shooting again.

I've only ever seem small bouts of violence from Daniel, taking down one person at a time, (usually with his telekinesis) but this was... something altogether different. He was efficient and brutal (as always) shooting, grabbing disarming, neck breaking, or just using people as human shields before tossing them on the ground like a bin bag full of smelly rubbish. 

He looked over at me, reached out and grabbed my arm, pulling me towards him and I felt something whistle past, millimeters from my head. He looked down at me, still braced from the impact against him and... winked at me (Prick!) Then he turned, fast, pulling me with him as he continued to shoot, I could see snipers dropping from their positions and when I looked back at Daniel he was still looking down at me (because being able to kill people without looking is a completely normal, not disturbing talent to have) I could still hear and feel bullets whizzing past, so close to me, while he kept pulling me, round in a sort of circle (does this count as dancing, because if it does this makes three.)

He then stopped, standing in front of me, just standing, almost silence, bodies all around and the faint sound of Rei; taking down dome baddies of her own.

Then he swung his arm round and shot again, a guard I hadn't seen, behind Daniel, dropped to the ground, dead. He smiled and turned to inspect the area behind him. There was no one left. With a short snigger he began to speak and turn back towards me "Well that was..." and stopped, the smile dropping as he turned to find himself staring down the huge f*&@ing gun I was pointing at his face. (I mean huge, I have to use two hands to hold it.)

I spoke softly "Put. Down. The. Gun." and he look surprised, but he obliged. Slowly placing the gun on the ground and putting his hands up.

Rei came back round and asked if everything was alright. I just nodded and poked Daniel with the end of my gun and we continued towards our destination...


To Be continued...

Not a Hero. Pt 1.

He winked at me!

That prickfaced, wanker actually winked at me!

He's up to something... he has to be, it's the only explanation of how he behaved. (Not the wink, what he was doing at the time of the wink... I can't believe he winked at me! Smug git.)

It just doesn't make any sense, why did he do that? What's his plan? Why isn't everyone dead? (What on earth happened to my washing tablets to smoosh them up like this!)

The mission was a success... and yet... I'm unsettled. (You'll see why.)

The facility was big and very confusing, and the whole thing was very tense for me, not being able to use my power, of course. My job consisted of following along and scowling at the Prick...

Especially, when he offered me a hand up after I was tackled in one of the many, many, many scuffles we had with guards. (Where do villains get these people? Is there a job centre plus, just for those of the criminally inclined?) I did not accept his help... I batted his hand away... and then shoved him. (I'm a consumate professional.)

On the other hand I did like the part where Alex came on the comms (even though I'm still not talking to him) I wish I could've taken a picture of his face, when that happened. (But apparently that's "not appropriate") Served the Prick right for only specifying that Guerra couldn't be involved with the mission in ANY way... he just arranged that Alex couldn't be in the offices when he was there.

When he found out that my code name (I can't believe I have a code name) is Raven, the Prick sneered and said. "Oh I see, he imagines he's clever does he? He does realise that doesn't make any sense?" (Apparently cocking your side arm is also "not appropriate")

We did manage to get to the part of the building where the prisoners were being kept... Michael and Katie went ahead to rescue them and William stood guard whilst Rei and I had to follow Daniel to another part of the facility, where... something else was being stored.

This, this is why he gets to be on the mission, (instead of just drawing us a map and staying in his cell... forever.) He explained during the briefing that there was something in this building that would help us completely destroy Helena's organisation and any chance of there being any more of the power aerosol... ever again. (Which is of mild interest to my bosses.)

This is also why we had so many scuffles... trying to attract attention to our rescue mission, and encourage guards to attack the most powerful members of our group, while the more stealthy agents. (Invisible) went after... whatever Daniel was advertising.

On the way there, however, we were attacked by a few more guards (and guns) than we could handle... which means that I had to participate in "close combat". (I got a c... minus. I AM certified!)

I was knocked to the ground by guard number three (what? that could be his name) and he sort of, landed on top of me (which is the most male contact I've had in days) That's when I saw something more than a little alarming...

It was in fact the worst thing that could have possibly happened at that precise moment.

I looked over to where Daniel was standing, about two feet into a corridor (where Rei had shoved him when the shooting began... for some reason she didn't want him killed by a stray bullet) he was standing, looking down at something...

Something had skidded across the floor in the ongoing "action" and was lying at his feet, it took me a second to realise what it was and by the time I had he was already bending down and picking up the gun...

Evil assassins in our custody should traditionally not be given access to firearms. Especially, when the only thing between them and freedom are two (presently occupied and/or being squished... respectively) much, much lower skill ranked agents.

This is where events... changed... dramatically.


To be continued...

Another night, another nightmare.

This one was longer though. After the part, you know, where my boyfriend stabs me with a giant hypodermic needle (lovely) after that, it gets very strange...

... to be honest I think it's because Daniel was in the office yesterday. That's enough to get anyones subconscious in a grump. (My subconscious hates me.)

Dream Alex and Real Daniel are both right abouts something though... I do have terrible taste in men.

For instance, my saturday, which should have been spent having lots of fantastic make up with my handsome boyfriend... was in fact spent arguing with said boyfriend over the fact he won't tell me where he was yesterday and last night (and the night before that, come to think of it), then arguing because neither he, nor his precious Director Guerra ever give me a straight answer as to why Daniel hates her (I probably shouldn't have used the word precious... he clearly took issue) and then we got to arguing about his and Guerra's obsession with Daniel. (It's about time I said something)

She's been subtly questioning me and Katie and Michael for months about him, and I only really noticed yesterday when Rei was asking why we hated him so much... (Rei, clearly out of both loops.) She did let slip, yesterday... after drink number... cough, something, cough... that she thinks Director Guerra blames our department for Daniel's betrayal...

How do I know somewhere, I'm going to get the blame for turning him evil... (He was a prick when i met him... honest)

I'm not single... yet, but I am alone tonight. I told Alex to get out at the conclusion of our 4th argument... so he did... (P.S. when trained spies slams a door, it breaks.)

Top my perfect day off with... the Starbucks cashier shouting out Friday rather than my name... I swear he did... I'm not imagining it, clear as day. "Miss Friday!" and then I get there and the name on the cup says Lee. (Whoever is mucking about with me better stop. Now.)

Oh, and now my Sister is trying to call me. (Probably to talk about her perfect life, perfect man and lack of ginger roots showing, after forgetting hair dye again...)

That's it!

 I'm finding a tiny dress and a babysitter for my neighbour and I'm going out.

Troubling Friday.

Why do all men have to be so rubbish?

Okay lets start here...

Alex is still sulking over not being booted from the offices by Daniel. He only responds to my texts with one word answers and isn't coming over tonight. (Who's going to make me lasagne? Did he think of that!? Selfish)

Michael, is of course as indecisive as ever (aren't leaders supposed to be able to make decisions?) except when he gets an opportunity to include Katie in a mission. Then he's all "This is the thing that MUST be done!" (Yes, yes we get it, you're in love with each other, it's all very thrilling... even after years of tossing about.)

Then there's Moore, who decides to break my streak of avoiding one on one interaction with the Prick, by casually telling me to "Go get him." When he was allowed back in the briefing room again. (Because of course, I'm just the coffee girl aren't I?)

And where should I find him but lounging about in one of my colleagues chairs, his feet up on a desk. (Prick!) I asked him what he was doing and he said "Oh, just reminiscing Friday." Giving me one of his big, smug smiles for a spilt second before continuing. "This used to be my desk you know, right here, I sat for..." 

It was at this point that I became convinced that I would destroy the entire energy grid if he didn't shut up so I shoved his feet off the desk mid sentence and explained "It's not your desk anymore... it's Dennis's desk...and Dennis actually makes a contribution to the world. Get up, they want you in the room." 

He stood up quickly, trying to intimidate me. (Unfortunately the power suppressant they give him, doesn't affect his super power of being an irritating twit... which I probably shouldn't have said when he was scowling down at me) He sort of narrowed his eyes at me and asked "Having a bad day are we? You and Miller have a little tiff? Very troubling, Friday."

What I wanted to do was throw a monitor at him and then choke him with the extension cord... but I just turned around and walked away. (I have impulse control?)  He followed me, making irritating comments of course. (Where are his guards! Shouldn't there be a ring of armed men circling him at all times?!? Waiting for... you know... an excuse.)

For the rest of the day I managed to avoid too much contact, except of course that he burst out laughing when he found out I was on the mission as a Combat Certified Field Agent. (Prick.)

Even Stanley (usually my oasis of male reliability) was driving me crazy! Being completely inappropriate and helpful to the Prick when we were going through the mission details. (Answering questions and not scowling at him the whole time... like he's supposed to) 

I'm pretty annoyed with all of them right now...

... And I'm not texting Alex anymore, If he wants me he can text me... or maybe I will text him, but it will be to tell him not to text me... 

That'll show him.

Friday Morning.

Of course, it had to be a Friday, didn’t it.

Woke up from one of many, increasingly disturbing dreams thinking "At least I have Alex, I can hide behind Alex all day." only to remember that neither Guerra nor Alex are permitted in our offices today...

Bugger.

Then I was thinking "Well on the bright side, if he bothers me I can just give him a taste of my new power... right in his smug face." only to have bubble burst again when I remember I've not to use my power in front of the Prick... at all...

Bugger.

I understand the need to withhold information from evil people, locked up or not. Just... wondering how much trouble I'm willing to get into, just so I can wipe that smug smirk of his smug face.

We'll see.

...

Maybe I should call Alex before I leave. (He didn't come over last night.)

...or I could maybe make breakfast... I am in no way trying to avoid going outside in the FREEZING cold.

Sigh... time for my frosty commute.

The Look.

Interesting side effect of my new clearance and my new, combat rating... 

Director Moore never gives me "The look" anymore.

The look that says "We're all about to talk about things too terrible for you to know... get out." It's a long sentiment for just a look but you don't get to be co-director of a super-powered crime fighting division for nothing.

Now they discuss all manner of interesting and nightmare inducing, subject matters in front of me, without a second thought. Although, I'm sure they've replaced banishing me with talking about me, when I'm not in the room... and behaving vastly more irritating... not to mention the practical joke with hiding my stuff and putting it back has... escalated... (I made that sandwich for me!)

I'm going to find out who it is... and I'm going to get even.

Trust me I have ways of enacting effective retribution, not even using my new power... I've just been more clever in using my old power.

For instance, if someone knocks me over in a shop (it happens quite a lot) I can just stick something expensive in their bag and wait for a shop alarm to go off. (Explain that, and look where you're going next time.)

I should have brought popcorn with me that day in Top Shop... (She cried.)

Where was I? Oh, yes.

Directors Moore and Guerra were away for most of the day, a meeting with "higher ups" (It's odd to think of them as having bosses.) and came back... not happy. Guerra more so than Moore. He seemed, well he was annoyed, but there was a trace of... I think, amusement. She on the other hand went into her office and didn't come out for the rest of the day. (It's possible his amusement is based mainly on her misery, in this instance... or in all instances)

Everyone was called in for a briefing, and we were all given an object lesson in how much power my bosses don't have... (a lesson that would continue for a couple of days) 

No, we aren't allowed to interrogate Daniel in our department anymore, Guerra and Alex are not allowed in the same room as him (What on earth happened while I was away?) and no he won't be drawing us a map to the facility we're going to rescue the kidnapped civilians from...

He won't because, apparently, he's going to show us round himself... in person... on the mission... 

...

I doubt the Top Shop trick would work in this particular situation...

Bugger.

Request Denied.

During the morning briefing Director Guerra explained that a number of people... people who were in the train station on the day Helena and co released the gas (that gives people powers) into the air vents... are going missing. Of course, this wasn't relevant information to give me. (It's not like I'm one of them and in any danger of being thrown into a black van, while going to the chippie.)

We've intercepted (thanks to my not so thrilling mission to tap Helena's communication network) the location, where some of these people are being held and today was taken up mostly with research on the facility and planning a recue operation... except that we could just ask someone who's already been there... even if he is a Prick.

Problem is... and this is the unsettling part (at least to me) of my day...

The team weren't given permission to interrogate him!

We just got a terse message back informing us that they would "look into getting information on the facility and get back to us with the relevant information" That was a fun phone conversation...

Which for once I didn't have to make, I could get used to being one of the important people.

Not where I put it.

Feeling especially fabulous today. 

At lunch Katie had arranged a little celebratory party in honour of my first real, official spy mission. (squeals with delight) I'm not even disheartened by the fact that I knew less than half of the, very small amount of people who were there. (No by the fact that most people seemed to think it was a party for Katie or Rei.)

It was just soft drinks and crisps but still... party for meeeeeee! (Plus Katie found a supermarket that sells Irn Bru for meeeeee.... I'm going to stop using excessive eeee's it makes me sound like a 14 year old girl.)

The only down side to the day is that I'm certain someone kept playing a practical joke on me...

A few times throughout the day I would get back to my desk and my chair would be gone, or my mouse... but before I could do something about it, I'd turn around... and it would be back again! (Quite sure Alex is trying to make me think I'm crazy... I should get him back later)

Disturbed Sleep...

...and not in the fun way.

These past few nights I’ve been having this recurring dream.

 It starts off differently each time, at work, making breakfast in the kitchen, a romantic dinner… I’m with Alex and we’re kissing and talking and usually things begin to turn yummy. (By which I mean “deliciously naughty”)

He pulls away a little, still so close, his eyes looking deep into mine, his cheeky little grin just out of reach of my lips and he softly says,

“You really do have the worst taste in men, Little Raven.”

Then he pulls out a hypodermic needle the size of my arm and stabs me with it!

That’s when I wake up.

So... this is a fun development in my subconscious. 

Girls' Night Pt 2.

An important piece of information: Evil henchmen do not give you a reasonable amount of time to overcome the fear and alarm of being surrounded by guns, before firing at you... a lot.

You know those moments when you think to yourself something like "I can jump that far." or "I can catch that" and you go for it with enthusiasm and fearlessness... and fail spectacularly?

This wasn't one of those moments.

I should back up.

The new power I have; I can redirect energy. (Electricity, heat, radiation, sound, etc.) Mostly it's been me draining something of power, or changing the path of something... or making things explode when it experiences a dramatic power surge. (ahem) The one thing I'd never considered though, was directing the energy almost... through me (which I'm glad I haven't tried before because most types of energy tend to be a bit owchie) not my body, but sort of with me.

I've also never thought to try with just simple force energy (Stanley informs me that's not a thing, it's called kinetic energy... and now I know what it means... after a 2 hour slide show he somehow already had prepared... yawn.) like say... I don't know... the force that propels bullets through the air and towards my rather fragile being.

I'm not sure I can fully articulate quite how magnificent I was in that moment. I Looked at the big steel door and for some reason (quite possibly the shot of vodka I snuck before the mission) I though "I can absolutely kick that down... as long as I really jump at it." (This isn't going to work Lee... at least it shouldn't)

It should absolutely not have worked... technically it didn't. I didn't kick the door down, I just happened to knock it down, by throwing the kinetic energy of hundreds of bullets (which fell comically to the ground... I'd imagine) at the door, at the exact moment I jumped at it and then held on to it for deal life as it continued to be propelled (bullets, it seems, have a lot of force behing them, interesting) forwards at high speed through the corridors like a rocket powered sled.

I didn't really look up from my crouched, clinging, "oh this was a mistake" position till it came to a stop, but by the look of the corridor behind me, I appeared to have knocked over approximately 73% of the security staff. (Which was nice.)

After that it didn't take me long to reach the foyer, although I did notice a distinct lack of any more guards, and begin to become concerned that one or both of the girls might have been caught. I checked with Stanley on comms and he assured me (though his eagle eye in all the buildings security cameras) that they hadn't and that they were making their way out now... I was on my own.

Not quite...

Reaching the foyer, and really exhausted (using my power makes me so tired) I came face to face with the other 27% of the security staff, and three rather intimidating gentlemen, one of whom I recognised as being the fire happy Russian. (why can't we at least catch that bugger! He's everywhere we go!)

Just as I was about to catch my breath all three of them blasted me.... a huge ray of flaming fury came at me along with two more horizontal columns of... I dunno but one was distinctly blue and the other came out more in bolts. They all "fired" directly at me, completely engulfing me in unbelievably destructive energy... which was quite nice of them in the circumstances. (Such kind boys don't you think?)

Fireworks night will never hold the same appeal for me after what happened next. That was a lot of different energy, and I had a truly, enormous amount of fun with it.

I was able to pull it and move it and throw it and loop it round structural support beams... and of course blast evil, evil men (and possibly women of course) across the room with the tiniest whim.

It was a dance of movement and colour and destruction of private property and flying bodies of nasty men who pick on little girls... giggle.

When it was over... I might have destroyed the entire bottom floor of the building...

which is usually a good time to head for the extraction point. (Spy talk again, heehee.)

I should note that I survived all of that only to be almost killed by the hug I received from Katie when I got back to the van. (I love her but she nearly cracked a rib.)


It is at this point I wish to take a moment to stop looking longingly at the large congratulations cake Michael made for me and think about what happened this week.

• I tapped the communications of an evil organisation without any help (but some supervision)
• I faced my arch nemesis (spelled it right) in the work place and didn't flinch. (Okay I didn't so much face Daniel as hid in the loo till he was gone and then watch the interview later.)
• I had an actual active role in mission briefings and had someone else do my research for me!
• I broke into a top secret facility, removed valuable decryption tools, avoided bullets, kicked down a door (sort of) defeated dozens of guards and spectacularly took down three supervillains as well.

There's something I've always wanted to say. 

My name is Lee Sarah... and I am a Spy.

Girls' Night. Pt 1.

That. Was. Fantastic.

I don't think it's too far to say that as I am right now, I could beat any baddies... anywhere... or any goodies. Superman, Batman, the huge handsome blonde fellow with the hammer. Easy. (Although I did incur a 1 hour rant from Stanley when I suggested I could fight them all at the same time.)

This was so much better than my supervised mission. This was f*&king brilliant!

Flying, being able to see a few seconds into the future and invisibility have to be the all time, best super powers for evading capture whilst confusing guards to the point that they don't know if there's one intruder or 50!

I'm also loving the wigs they had us wear... I think I'd suit a short black bob. My hair's just a brownish thing at the moment... and I haven't had a haircut in months! (Plus black hair would go with my call sign... eek I have a call sign. Alex chose it, I'll give you 3 guesses)

The running part of the mission wasn't as much fun, although, I was really surprised with how fast I could run when being chased by men with guns (who knew?) and by the fat that I didn't one stop and collapse into a wheezing pile of anti-fitness. (it's a word.) Guess it must've been the adrenaline.

I also discovered a brand new way to use my power... which is so fantastic I can't even describe it... it was also terrifying, but in a good way!

We entered the building and my two glamorous assistants got to work setting off different section alarms and perplexing guards in a dazzling display of "why didn't they teach me how to do that!?!" while I went for the target; the computer guarded by all manner of fancy equipment, rendered useless by a glorified secretary who only got 3rd class degree in geopolitics and security. (What? There were a lot of intensely attractive men in the queue for that one.)

So I get to the room... after much running, although I didn't need to run faster than the guards... as it happens a wall of crackling zapping bolts of electricity is quite enough to keep minimum wage guards from wanting to pursue you for long. The security was predictably, not a problem for invisible Lee and I managed to carefully and expertly remove the hard drive from the main system, read as:  yanked it until it came out and I almost broke my tail bone when I hit the floor... which is when things got... thrilling.

Since I hadn't really counted on the actual hard drive being alarmed. (I'm so used to sirens and flashing lights by this point that I almost didn't notice.)

I've never seen so many "henchmen",  armed with machine guns, pour into a room, in which I am the only occupant...

So that wasn't ideal...

to be continued...

Finally!

My first real mission... my first real mission... my first real mission...

My. First. Real. Mission.... I'm going to get to be a spy!!!

Now that I'm back from dancing to some spectacularly upbeat pop music by an array of fabulous and sometimes quite odd female pop stars, I can tell you that...

I'm going on my first real mission tonight!

It's going to be me, Katie and Rei, which I'm especially grateful for because out of the entire facility, I trust them the most... well of course there is Stanley first... BUT he'll be in the van so it's my perfect team!

This time it's not supervised. (So if someone aims a gun at me, it's unlikely to end with me being saved by a real spy, or with the villain being unable to pull the trigger because he enjoys mocking me too much...)

Katie and Rei and I will be playing a little "3 card-monte" (which I always lose at... even the first round, when they want you to win.) Dressing the same we all enter the building and cause some havoc; setting of motion alarms etc, distracting the guards from where I'm going to be going...

... straight for the big room with all of the high tech, high priced, high powered security measures that can be easily beaten by my little disappearing trick. (heehee no one finds this lady... which is sadly true often... oh wait, I have a gorgeous boyfriend... depression and ice cream binge averted)

This is the first time Katies been allowed to go on a mission since before I left for training apparently. (Director Guerra really has it out for her for some reason.) She was given the gren light (hehe spy talk) to come with us because, as Director Guerra put it. "With all female team members it's unlikely you'll cause too much disruption." (I want to defend Katie but there is a little bit of truth in that... )

Have to go and conduct some international espionage now... don't wait up!

Talk the Talk.

Have I mentioned how completely glad I've been to be away, far away from the one thing that can ruin any day, no matter how good, no matter how perfect?

Daniel.

Why does he have to exist?

He mostly gets kept in a separate wing of the building. He was moved there just before I left much to the irritation of Guerra and the relief of me. Far away Daniel is better than Daniel in the interrogation room on my floor, less than 400 yards from my desk. (What am I saying? NO Daniel is better.)

The tap I put on helena's communication network (So THAT'S what I was doing!!) is picking up lots of messages and working quite well...

...except for one minor problem (NOT MY FAULT)

All of the communications are encrypted... and none of our clever clogs department (actual department name) can decipher it.

Which means we had to request an interview with Daniel, so he could tell us what it says. Oh yes we also need to ask permission to "interview" Daniel since apparently the higher ups (wait, what higher ups?) have taken an interest in him and keep him under lock and key and there is also some suggestion that our department can't be trusted to interrogate him in a manner that doesn't include extreme physical discomfort.  (I'm pretty sure if it got physical it was because Daniel started it... he is the Prick after all.)

He couldn't even able to help us decode the messages... he said "...most of my communications with Helena were delivered...in person."

Uggghhhh! (I need a shower!)

There was at least some useful information he could give. Theres a secure facility that he thinks has a computer which is where the codes are generated. This computer could be used (by Stanley) to decrypt the communications we're intercepting...

Can you believe how much I sound like a real spy right now?

Well that was...

boring.

Well, maybe not boring, but it wasn't entirely as thrilling as I thought it'd be.

Step 1: Dress like frumpy and unnoticeable (this is starting to sound upsettingly familiar) drone from the IT department of a front company, which is really just a branch of Helena's organisation. (Branch makes it sound like you have to queue for 3 hours behind a sweaty businessman and an old woman who can't quite remember which line she should be in, before initiating a global pandemic.)

Step 2: Stanley makes the computers in the building go all wibbly. (Actual technical term.)

Step 3: Enter building and pretend to be normal as Stanley guides you, on comms, to the appropriate room, (i.e. the room with so many computers that it glows like tinkerbell on the satellite surveillance.)

Step 4: Enter the room...

Step 5: Attach a complex and important device (no, I don't know how it works) to one of the... the... oh bugger it I don't know what they are called, wires behind a large heavy, black, metal thing that I was absolutely not allowed to knock over. (I didn't really need to know more than that.)

Step 6: Insert usb device into heavy, black, metal things usb port... which William insisted I be briefed on, specifically what a USB port was. (The condescension that comes my way is reaching critical mass lately)

Step 7: Leave room... and building... without attracting attention to myself... become convinced that this means make as much eye contact as possible with people around me... make said people incredibly uncomfortable.


Without wanting to sound like I was hoping to be put in terrible danger and become (for abooouuutt the   3rd time in the past year) acquainted with the barrel of a gun... Isn't real spy stuff supposed to be more exciting than this?

Sigh.

This technically wasn't a real spy mission anyway... because something I failed to mention was that for all steps, I was accompanied by William. Although he only observed.

I, in fact, did every part of the laughably easy task I was given, all by myself...

...so proud.

There's really no way to word it, is there?

I’ve never been this involved with mission prep before. 

I leave tomorrow and not with the business class, B-team, no I’m going first the whole way there. First class, first…

…

Okay I don’t have another first there but I’m going FIRST CLASS on a plane tomorrow, then I’m going on a mission that doesn’t involve me sitting in a smelly van, being used solely for my ability to be invisible, or sabotaging my own work mates on orders of the baddies just because I can’t keep my tongue in my own mouth… or at least restrict it to the mouths of those who aren’t violent supervillains.

Good advice for life. Tongues should only be used for good… wait, no that doesn’t make any sense…

Tongues should only be used on the good… hmm that sounded worse.

How about, never put your… I think I’m just going to stop before this gets too wrong.

They'll all see!!...(That's a bit more villainous sounding than I meant.)

It’s halfway through my second week back at work, after my month long absence and I finally feel like things are, hitting a rhythm of sorts.

Had a chat with Katie in the break room; since I’ve been away, things have gotten worse for her. Director Guerra and Director Moore seem to be in an all out war with each other about team methods and Katie is caught in the middle. (I’m not sure if Director Moore is being protective of Katie or if he’ll just violently disagree with anything Director Guerra says)

On the up side, she (Katie) and Michael have (through the healing power of a common enemy to moan about) fallen back into a relationship composed entirely of denial, longing looks and poorly concealed subtext.

Stanley’s perfect, as always, although there is something going on, he won’t tell me about. All I know is that he leaves a room as quickly as possible when Rei appears. Which is a problem during mission briefings, when he’s not actually allowed to leave (He just sits and squirms like a Ribena filled child near the end of a 5 hour bus ride on a school trip to Alton Towers)

William still has some difficulty remembering who I am and what I do, except that he does seem to remember I’m someone to be patronised, and he also remembers to grumble when I shadow him…

But not for long!!!

Once my first real field mission (with possible combat!) is done (under His and Alex’s supervision, of course) he’ll see that I’m not just an “incompetent office monkey”

Oh yes.

He’ll see.